Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bamboo lighted etegare w/ 4 glass shelves - $200

Blond bamboo etegare with a light at the top. It's app. 7ft high by 18" deep and about 36" wide. There are 4 glass shelves.
Wow, this is the etagere that I imagined I'd own one day, that is... when I was 10 years old. Picture it: A photo of my fave crush in a heart shaped metal frame, other frames filled with photos of me and my gal pals hanging out, Loves Baby Soft, long lacey cut-off gloves, miles of pearls on strings and ribbons of all colors, textures and lengths, a dried single rose...
Glad to see someone's living my dream, 20 years later.

Custom Made Living Room Set - $800

Made of bull horns and bull fur.

These bulls died for your sins. Are you happy now?

CL post submitted by: Sprattacus

Monday, July 14, 2008

55 gallon saltwater fish tank bed - $1700

This is s custom made queen size platform bed with a 55 gallon saltwater fish tank in the headboard. It is a one of a kind piece of furniture that would be an excellent conversation piece for any aquarium enthusiast. The bed and headboard are made from high grade red oak with an attractive red oak stain. The ornate headboard has a lid that easily lifts for simple access to the aquarium. Included in the package is a queen size platform bed, headboard, 55 gallon saltwater fish tank, lighting hood with lights, Rena power filter, protein skimmer, power head, titanium heater, moon lights, sand, live rock, Niger trigger, yellow tang, chocolate chip starfish, snails, and all necessary cleaning equipment. **mattress not included

Hey baby, wanna come into my bedroom and see my yellow tang?

CL post submitted by: karen smyth

Thursday, July 10, 2008


To anyone interested in reading this story or accepting my scary cat: I’m a normal girl who just celebrated my 29th birthday. I’m a classical violinist and an animal lover. I have three dogs and three cats. I definitely don’t consider myself a cat lady, but I do love my cats because they’re funnier and more intelligent than most people. Plus they make handsome throw rugs and door stops. When you walk into my house, you wouldn’t think, “Wow, this girl loves animals.” It’s just a normal house with a neutral couch, a throw pillow or two, paintings, some family photos, candles, plants, some bookshelves, a TV, etc. Nothing really out of the ordinary except a music stand and one really fat cat in particular that does not appear to be domestic but more like the result of a hippo-panther porn film.

Someone in my extended family, who shall remain nameless, found the PERFECT (in another dimension) birthday gift for me. It is a large, stuffed fake cat (as opposed to a real stuffed cat, because that would be even sicker). This isn’t any ordinary stuffed cat. It is covered in musical print. That’s right. Music notes, the occasional treble clef, and quarter rests. Because OBVIOUSLY a violin playing animal lover would LOVE a stuffed cat covered in music, right? Right? No. Not right.

This cat is scary. Its paws are painted on in heart shapes with puffy paint. I didn’t even know puffy paint still existed. I used that stuff when I was in 6th grade to match my tight rolled jeans, bad perm, and Blossom hats. Ok, back to the cat. Its neck and tail are accented with a big gold ribbon. Personally, any of my cats would bite my face off if I ever tried to tie a gold ribbon around its tail. So, anyway, this stuffed cat smells like cigarette smoke. Strongly. Like it has been a chain smoker for a minimum of 23 years. Its eyes look demonic, and its smile reminds me of Alice in Wonderland if you’re hitting the crack pipe. This cat is heavy, and I’m pretty sure there is an entity inside. Looking at it now, it looks like a huge piece of pizza dough that was topped in puffy paint, force fed to a piece of sheet music, thrown up inside a cigarette stand, and then sold in a garage sale by the lucky pimp who found it.

This cat is tagged with “original by JUDYBONE.” This Judybone character is one sick person. She works out of Colorado, assuming that this was a local garage/craft sale purchase by “purchaser in my extended family who shall remain nameless.” In fact, if you trace Judybone, you might just stumble upon Osama bin Laden. She very well could be an Al Qaeda mastermind herself. She probably writes love letters and sends possessed stuffed cats to serial killers on death row. Who knows where this cat has been, really.

I am attaching pictures of the scary cat, as well as one of my hippo-panther porn cat, because I know you’re dying of curiosity now. If you would like to purchase this cat, make me an offer. You must prove to me that you have taken the proper precautions before bringing this cat into your home including having good health insurance for the lung cancer you will most certainly develop from the second hand smoke. You must also have a saved soul because the entity inside this cat is probably looking for a more pleasant smelling host with real teeth and claws that are not made of puffy paint.

CL post submitted by: Hillary Oxley